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AI is like a genie in a lamp… but instead of rubbing the lamp, you have to type a perfectly worded essay called a prompt. Miss a detail, and instead of giving you a masterpiece, it hands you a three-paragraph explanation of why it can’t draw a cat wearing a spacesuit riding a unicycle through Times Square.

Hey everyone! Great to be here! So, let’s talk about the Windows operating system. Ah, good ol’ Windows. The only OS that makes you question your life choices every time you boot up your computer. Seriously, it’s like jumping into a time machine and ending up in a dysfunctional tech family reunion.

Security compliance is like playing a board game where the rules keep multiplying—PCI says roll a six, ISO says only with encryption, and HIPAA wants you to sanitize the dice first. The guidelines aren’t optional—they’re the guardrails that keep you from tumbling into a costly audit pit

I mean, Linux is like the hipster of operating systems, right? You know, the kind that got there first but insists it was *always* better because it was “open-source.” Yeah, open-source! It’s like they’re saying, “Hey, I’m not just free; I’m also a little confusing on purpose!”

Getting hacked as a business is like inviting a vampire in—once they cross the threshold, they don’t just suck your data dry, they throw a party with your clients’ credit cards, change your CEO’s LinkedIn title to ‘Chief of Poor Security Decisions,’ and leave you holding the lawsuit confetti.

But in all seriousness, folks, computer security is important. So make sure to protect yourself. Use strong passwords, stay aware, and if you see a suspicious email, remember: the only thing you should open are snacks! Stay safe out there, and remember—laughter is the best antivirus!

DevOps is like trying to get developers and operations to share a kitchen—devs want to cook with experimental spices, ops want the smoke alarms turned off, and somehow the recipe ends up in production half-baked at 2 a.m.

Security and IAM automation is like teaching a robot to guard the castle—half the time it locks out your own knights, the other half it politely waves attackers through because they spelled their password with a capital letter.

Designing infrastructure for both on-prem and cloud is like building a bridge that connects your basement to outer space—you need old cables, new clouds, and a plan that won’t collapse when someone plugs in a coffee maker.

Azure: the cloud platform that’s always got your back… unless it’s doing “scheduled maintenance” at 3AM. Need to scale your app? No problem. Want to set up a VM? Easy. Accidentally spin up 37 VMs and forget to turn them off?  

But hey, it’s Microsoft—so if you’ve ever wanted your cloud infrastructure to feel like Excel on a rocket ship, Azure’s your ride.

Monitoring your infrastructure for security is like babysitting a room full of toddlers—turn your back for two minutes, and someone’s clicking suspicious links, sharing cookies, or drawing on the firewall with crayons.

Let’s talk about project management. Yeah, that magical land where optimism goes to die.
You ever notice that project managers have the incredible ability to turn a simple email into a full-blown meeting? “We need to send an email.” “Okay, let’s draft a checklist, set a calendar invite, and hold a meeting to discuss the email.”